directed by: Michael Cuesta
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| Where did he imprint on that bull? |
-Spoiler, that egg doesn't mean shit.
-"Take off your clothes."-That's probably the first time Lafayette's ever said that to a woman.
-Maryann continues to destroy Sookie's memories of her home by wearing Gran's wedding dress. At least Sookie gets to be the maid of honor?
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| Where are all these white dresses coming from? |
-Jane, Tara, and Arlene make up the combination of "old, new, and blue."
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| Yes, but which is which? |
-"And those are my friends...plus Jane Bodehouse."
-Maryann wants the (spoiler) fairylights and Sookie tries; "That's hitting me." Who knows Maryann has jokes?
-Guys, did you know Sookie is a waitress?
FORTENBERRY HOME
-Hoyt has rube goldberg-ed himself an alarm in case Maxine leaves.
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| With yarn! |
-Blah, blah, god stuff, blah, blah.
-Maryann calls Sam the ideal wedding gift.
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| Hear, hear. |
QUEEN SOPHIE ANNE'S PALACE
-Eric is sporting some serious heavage.
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| Something's got to get me through all this yahtzee talk. |
-Is "gospel or gorilla shit" a real saying or just one of those things Southern people say and act like everybody knows what they're talking about.
-Eric is stronger and older than Sophie Anne. Why isn't he King of Louisiana then?
-Eric sucks at yahtzee. I'm sure he makes up for that in other areas.
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| See you next season Eric! |
-Jason continues to be really terrible at quoting things; "I love the smell of nail polish in the morning."
-Oops, I messed up with my last recap, Jason and Andy become "zombies" in this episode, not the last. It becomes even more pointless.
MERLOTTE'S BAR AND GRILL
-Bill wanted to glamour Arlene's children. There are some very interesting moral implications behind this.
-I honestly believe that Sam would sacrifice himself.
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| For the town, not just Sookie no matter how much she needs to believe that. |
-"What's with the egg? Did you lay it?"
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| That would be the most interesting thing she's done all season. |
-Everything is coming to a head with the meat man and the god who comes; "Worship him bitches!"
-Maryann gives us some Greek history and it's as interesting as it sounds.
-Ok, who got to unbutton Sam's shirt?
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| I call dibs for next time! |
-Sookie takes the time to admonishes the townspeople while Sam is bleeding out. Ugh.
-Maryann's death gives a new meaning to the phrase bull riding (zing!) But seriously, she got a great death for such an annoying character.
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| "Somewhere out there Tim Burton just got a boner."-Source |
-"Get everyone off my lawn."-Sookie just became an old lady.
FORTENBERRY HOME
-The truth finally catches up with Maxine and we all have to agree when Hoyt says, "I wish that Jessica had finished you off."
-Everyone is confused as to why the climax happened halfway through the episode...I mean as to why they're at Sookie's.
-Bud decides to reinstate Andy because he "might have [his] faults, but at least [he's] got pants on."
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| Having pants on is a fault in my book. |
-Eggs is not handling what might or might not have happened well. Why can't he be like the rest of us and just chalk up blood on our hands to the best night ever that you can't remember?
MERLOTTE'S BAR AND GRILL
-Hey there's Charlaine Harris, the author of the Sookie Stackhouse books.
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| Hey, here's me and Charlaine Harris. I miss that skirt. |
-"Yep I'm pretty sure he's dead."
-Those two gossipy cows are back to let the audience know that the town doesn't know what's up, however, I have to agree with the lady who says, "I'll wear [Sam] like a scrunchie."
-"Everybody been acting so crazy I forgot how stupid they were."
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| And I forgot how beautiful Lafayette's side eye is. |
-"If a tree falls in the woods, it's still a tree ain't it?"
-Bill sends Sookie a present, a dress for her to wear. That's not controlling at all.
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| Anyone else shocked he didn't write this in cursive? |
-Eggs wants his memories back, but I'd pay to have my memories of the Maryann storyline removed.
-Sookie decides to give Eggs his memories, because we have to get him out of the show somehow. One of the memories is Maryann and Eggs killing Miss Jeanette in the woods him and Tara found. Shouldn't Tara have recognized the woods though?
BILL'S HOUSE
-Bill is accosting Jessica on her way out like the only thing he knows about fathers is 60s television sitcoms.
WHO KNOWS WHERE
-Sam has an impressive array of belt buckles.
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| I hope you guys never get tired of me sexualizing Sam Trammell. |
-Sam wants to know where his birth family is and says he's not at his foster family for an apology. Apparently, he's there to make them feel like shit though.
-I want those dying old man's pillows.
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| "Brighter than sunflowers."-Source |
-Hoyt realizes what a mistake he's made and brings flowers to Jessica. Shockingly, she lied to Bill though so she's no where to be seen.
TRUCK STOP
-Just kidding she's at a truck stop being a vampire lot lizard!
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| I've always wanted to use the phrase "lot lizard". |
-I've never understood the concept of converting old houses into restaurants. Much like different foods on my plate, I don't need the lines of house and restaurant to mix.
-I'll be honest. It looks like it would be a lot of fun to dance with Bill.
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| Tell no one. |
-Eggs is even stupider than I thought he was, coming after Andy with a knife in his hands. He's black, cops don't need any more of a reason to shoot him!
-Oh Jason.
-Ugh Tara.
FRENCH RESTAURANT
-Bill proposes to Sookie. They've known each other a month and he's over 100 years old. I think he can wait a little longer to pop the question.
-Sookie goes to the bathroom to make up her mind. All the best decisions are made in the toilet.
-Bill is kidnapped and hopefully it's not by the Fellowship of the Sun.
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| And hopefully he'll stay gone. |
-Musical Moment of the Night: "Beyond Here Lies Nothin'" by Bob Dylan. Plays during the closing credits.
So there's the second season of True Blood. I really loved the Dallas plot, but the Maryann plot really brought down the second season. Luckily, the third season is better and has some really great characters: Russell, Talbot, Franklin.
Just a keep note about what'll be going on with the blog this weekend. Tomorrow/today I'll be posting my favorite episodes of each season of new Doctor Who. I'll begin recapping the third season of True Blood and Sunday (hopefully) I'll begin recapping the eighth season of Doctor Who as it airs.
SPOILERS
-I don't understand why Jason fell under Maryann's spell. Unless it has to do with Warlow then I'll have to wait to not be confused, because I don't remember much of that season.
-Sam's foster mom says that his birth family are bad people. They are. He should really listen to her.
-In case you're wondering how the Maryann thing goes down in the books, Maryann is called Callisto and does scratch Sookie. However, she does fuck all while everyone is in Dallas. When Sookie gets back from Dallas she is investigating who killed Lafayette and figures that a group of people who have an orgy knows what's up. She gets invited and brings Eric along because Bill is out of town and why wouldn't you bring Eric to an orgy? Eric wears pink lycra. So she goes to the orgy (that Tara and Eggs are attending) and figures out that they're all responsible for Lafayette's death. Callisto comes because sex and death is her thing and kills everybody but Tara then she leaves. I prefer the book's version.
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| Here's an Eric .gif for sticking through that. |
Leave a comment if you have any changes you'd like to see for the third season recaps!
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