True Blood 2.08- "Timebomb"

written by: Alexander Woo
directed by: John Dahl

When I said I wanted Eric tied up this isn't really what I meant.

FELLOWSHIP OF THE SUN CHURCH BASEMENT

-Godric finishes killing the shit out of Gabe. He made Eric, he's killed a rapist, he's so interesting that of course he won't last.

-Eric storms in with a sexy jacket and agrees to get Sookie out without killing any humans. It's a new side to Eric.

But he's still just as sexy.

OPENING CREDITS

LIGHT OF DAY CAMP

-Jason thinks God saved him when really he was just hit by a paintball. "For heavens sake, grow a brain cell!"

-Sarah lays into Jason (not like that) and tells him he's worse than Judas. Jason kills it by replying, "Why what did he do to you?"

-Jason finds out that Sookie is also at The Fellowship of the Sun and leaves Sarah high and dry.

Spoiler, he won't be the last man to do that to her.

FELLOWSHIP OF THE SUN CHURCH

-There's a lock down at the lock in. I live to write these sentences. 

-"He's your maker isn't he?"

"Don't use words you don't understand."

"You have a lot of love for him."

"Don't use words I don't understand."-Thousands of women just sighed with the need to show Eric what love is.

-Undercover Eric is so conspicuous. His attempt at slouching does absolutely nothing. 

How many religious fanatics do you know who can pull off a leather jacket?

-Once the jig is up, it's like someone turned the sexy light switch on.

-Did Steve just refer to Sookie or Eric as an "evil whore of satan"?

-What does one bring to a holy bonfire? Kosher hotdogs?

HOTEL CARMILLA

-Bill mentions Sookie and Lorena's face does this:

So does mine.

-Poor Barry, Bill really does shit all to help him.

-Bill hits Lorena with a plasma screen, ha.

-Bill walks in on Jessice and Hoyt and his face does this:

This is now my new reaction pic to everything.

MERLOTTE'S BAR AND GRILL

-Lafayette is doing a tarot reading. I know we've never seen him do it before, but it just seems like, of course, he would be the character doing that.

On an unrelated note, do you think he would do my make-up for me?

-Immediately when Eggs talked about blacking out, I think that Lord Voldemort must be possessing him. In case you guys haven't realised, I am a huge nerd.

Evidence.

-Tara is not as concerned about Eggs losing time as I would be. I'd survive this show a lot longer than them.

FELLOWSHIP OF THE SUN CHURCH

-Surprisingly, Jason proves more adept at infiltrating the Fellowship of the Sun than Eric.

Camo is the key to blending in. (Hey-oh!)

SAM'S CAR

-That's probably not a paintball gun Sam has with him.

MERLOTTE'S BAR AND GRILL

-It's a trap Sam!

-Now that Daphne has had her heart ripped out I wonder if she'll find Bud's joke funny.

-Sam grabs some black garbage bags to deal with Daphne, but it doesn't look like he planned on chopping her up before calling the police so it's all pretty pointless.

-I do like this shot:

That's all.

STACKHOUSE HOUSE FOR WAYWARD TRAVELLERS

-Is Maryann wearing Gran's apron while slicing up Daphne's heart? Not cool.

FELLOWSHIP OF THE SUN CHURCH

-Sookie calls Steve out on his silver bullshit, while Eric literally sizzles.

-Bill barges into the church yelling his catch phrase, "Sookeh!"

-"Honestly, what do they see in you?"-Good question Steve.

-Sorry this recap is just basically shots I like, but what else can I do when Steve does this: 

Acting!

-I just realized Stan is quite the hottie. Besides Eddie and Chow are there any ugly vampires? (For a fun read check out Charlaine Harris' essay in Seven Seasons of Buffy, "A Reflection of Ugliness" which came out in '03 so long before True Blood was a series.)

-Steve wants to be a martyr, but it looks like Godric is going to beat him to it .

-I don't know if it starts with this episode, or it's just when I start noticing it hardcore, but it seems like now whenever Sookie is in trouble she'll run to Bill's arms.

Their bodies have more magnetism than their relationship.

-Godric's faith in humans is stronger than Steve's. Burn.

-Bill gets all butthurt when Eric asks Sookie if she's fine. "She's fine!" Way to keep it close to the chest Bill.

-"I reckon I've already been to heaven. It was inside your wife."-Double burn Steve!

"Honesty my ass, shithead."

MERLOTTE'S BAR AND GRILL

-Bud and Kenya come to question Sam and Andy comes in. Even though he tells the truth, Sam is like "I don't even know him."

STACKHOUSE HOUSE FOR WAYWARD TRAVELLERS

-Tara thinks that there may be a gas leak. What is this the fourth season of Community?!

I want to see that crossover. 

-Maryann gives Tara and Eggs a soufflé that was made at Miss Lovette's Pie Shop.

STAN'S (GODRIC'S?) HOUSE

-Eric both compliments and threatens Jason at the same time. He also guides Jason with some head nodding. It's good.

-"You let me walk into a trap."

[nonplussed]"I regret that."

-Eric insinuates that he might like to turn Sookie. I don't know how I would feel about that.

BILL'S HOUSE

-I'm glad they've figured out Jessica's wardrobe.

How are those shoes staying on though?

-Congratulations Hoyt and Jessica! You've finally given me a non-cringeworthy sexcapade that takes place at Bill's. 

-Unfortunately, Jessica will remain a physical virgin forever. I hope she makes the most of it and puts "Like a Virgin" on her sex playlist.

STAN'S (GODRIC'S?) HOUSE

-"I don't like being touched."

"Believe me, I don't like touching you."-Speak for yourself Bill.

-It's kind of a bum party, but at least Hugo gets to leave without shuffling off this mortal coil.

-Bill keeps avoiding Sookie and goes outside to have a man to man with Jason. This is Bill's stay put face: 

Wait til you see his fetch face!

JAIL

-Sam is not alone getting locked up. Jane has lost her pants and Mike has sodomized a tree! He's in good company.

STAN'S (GODRIC'S?) HOUSE

-Jason wants forgiveness for being an asshole. Is this character growth I see?

-Jason hugs Bill and asks, "was that ok for you?"

Bill would have to be (even more of) a monster to say "no".

-I like the back and forth between Eric and Godric. You would think their conversations would feel implausible because of Alan Hyde (Godric) being quite a bit younger than Eric, but the two really make it work. We're finally seeing what Eric cares about, but we're also looking into what Eric (possibly) fears is his future. 

STACKHOUSE HOUSE FOR WAYWARD TRAVELLERS

-Eggs and Tara just started going all 50 Shades of Gray. As Lorena will say later, there is "no excuse for domestic violence."

I wonder what Tara's inner goddess is saying about this.

STAN'S (GODRIC'S?) HOUSE

-Lorena decides it's time to gatecrash. As Meredith Woerner at io9 says, Lorena is like the girl in high school who didn't get asked to prom, but decides that she's going to go to show everybody she don't need no man. Except Lorena is an insane psychopath.

-So could Bill have left Lorena? She had released him decades before, but does she still have some supernatural hold over him. Or was Bill not really trying to hard to leave?

-"Don't you have any shame?!"

Maybe it's in those curls.

-Godric kicks Lorena out, but we all have to endure another conversation between her and Bill.

-In walks Luke who has always been nothing but troub- Shut up, is Eric wearing a racerback tank?

Yes. Yes it is.

-In lesser news Luke is a literal ticking time bomb.

END

SPOILERS

-Godric says that he requires little blood. I don't know if it's explained in the show, but the books say that the older vampires get the less blood they need.

-Lorena realizes that Barry is different. It's because he's a fairy...not that kind.

-Lorena asks when she'll see Bill again. Next season!

Up next is "I Will Rise Up" my absolute favorite episode of True Blood!

I didn't have a Musical Moment for the Night so enjoy "At Least it Was Here" by The 88s which is Community's theme song. 

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