directed by: Alan Ball
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| Spoiler: Eric's hair and clothing will be so much better next season. |
JAIL
-Who has appointed Renee as the person to carry out Jason's prison will.
-Jason says that he lied when he told Hoyt his jacket was lucky. Oh sweetie. I think Hoyt lied to Jason when he said he believed him.
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| Come on. You can't disappoint this face. |
OPENING CREDITS
JAIL
-Jesus. Once again Sookie just blatantly tells someone she's telepathic. You're telling that to a murderer Sookie. Maybe now you'll learn to keep that thing under wraps!
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| Doubt it! |
MARYANN'S MANSION
-True Blood's food porn is not nearly as impressive as Hannibal's.
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| Hawt. |
INSIDE MARYANN'S MANSION
-Carl puts Tara's ringing phone in his pocket.
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| We now return you to: Nothing To See Here! |
-Well if there's one good thing about Vampire Eddie (there were actually many good things about Vampire Eddie), it's that Jason no longer hates vampires. Good, that was getting boring.
-Enter The Fellowship of the Sun. Officially, Jason did something bad. Unofficially, the "church" is behind murdering fangbangers 100%.
-The Fellowship of the Sun guy thinks it's smart if Jason doesn't admit to anything. It is his stupidity that will make him admit to everything.
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| And it's his good looks that will get him off every time. |
-Tara is built.
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| I cannot take Tara in a fight. |
-"Soooo...collecting black people? That some kind of hobby of hers?"
MERLOTTE'S BAR AND GRILL
-We've already reached the point in the series where everybody will always be thinking about Sookie.
-Sookie declines Sam's invite to his trailer. It's just to keep her alive guys.
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| "Ladies."-Source |
SOOKIE'S CAR
-Sookie has another freak out in car. It's just as accurate as the last time.
-Is it just me or Rene sexier now that we know he's evil?
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| I need help. |
-Sookie doesn't even put on her seatbelt in the car with a murderer! Girl has a death wish.
-She then says that Renee doesn't have an accent. She deserves to be murdered at this point.
-Renee hands Sookie a used tissue. It's more gross than murdering all those girls.
ARLENE'S HOUSE
-Arlene conveniently discovers the truth about Renee.
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| He should really get his money back. |
STACKHOUSE HOUSE
-Musical Moment of the Night: "Trouble" by Ray LaMontagne. Plays when Sookie and Renee enter her house. Even the soundtrack is trying to warn her!
MERLOTTE'S BAR AND GRILL
-In other crazy random happenstances, Sam smells Renee's work vest and realizes he's the killer.
-Pro: Terry trying to hide his cigarette behind his back.
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| Nothing to see here! |
-Realizing that he's been had, Renee finally loses that god awful accent.
CEMETARY
-Renee needs to stop thinking so loudly.
BILL'S HIDEY HOLE
-Bill wakes up in his hole. It is entirely pointless.
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| "Must be involved somehow!" |
STACKHOUSE HOUSE
-Sam realizes that Sookie and Renee aren't in the house. He then takes off without a weapon.
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| I love Buffy unashamedly. |
-Bill walking around in the daylight looks like me when I have a migraine.
CEMETERY
-Renee calls for Sookie like you call for a pig.
-Sookie decides to hide in a grave where there are tons of escape options.
-Sookie finally has a good idea and kills Renee with a shovel. Goodbye you obviously not Cajun bastard!
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| Just kidding! |
-Instead of being helpful, Bill instantly falls to the ground and starts smouldering.
-Sam is only slightly more helpful, because at least he got a good bite in and was a distraction.
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| Completely useless. |
STACKHOUSE HOUSE
-Tara is looking pretty.
-The way Anna Paquin says, "don't lose your shit" is adorable.
-Everybody's looks when they found out that Sam helped Sookie.
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| It's like they've never heard of anybody trying to stop a murderer. |
-Jason is being let go. It's not a miracle, but he thinks it is.
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| It's a miracle that nothing untowards happened to him. |
-Arlene is a hot mess.
-Lafayette leaves to "make sure Terry ain't PTSD-ing all over [his] clam chowder."
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| Surprisngly, it's not an euphemism. |
-Maryann picks up Tara. She's just become the new Amy.
-Now Arlene is talking about her and Renee's sex life. Just what we all want to hear.
-Sookie's only argument against Jason is that he's also good at football. At least we can blame this on the painkillers.
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| They didn't even come from Lafayette! |
-Someone decides that Lafayette is too fabulous to stay at Merlotte's.
STACKHOUSE HOUSE
-Unfortunately, Bill is still alive.
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| Not all of my dreams can come true. |
-"You're alive."
"Well technically no."-Alright Bill I'll give you that. It was funny
-Sookie says that Bill was willing to die for her. Not really honey. Bill was willing to die while not saving you in any way, shape, or form.
2 WEEKS LATER
MERLOTTE'S BAR AND GRILL
-Vermont allows vampire and human marriages. Bill and Sookie are going to celebrate privately later on. I'm going to vomit.
-Lafayette has been missing for two weeks, but don't worry because once Lafayette was gone for 8 months go-go dancing. I'd pay to see that.
CHURCH
-Look I'm aware Steve Newlin is saying something, but I'm not paying attention, because I'm thinking about how much I'm looking forward to him next season.
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| Hallelujah! |
BILL'S HOUSE
-"There are favors and there are favors."
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| Please graphically elaborate. |
-"Åh, du ljuva frihet!" = "Oh sweet freedom."
MERLOTTE'S BAR AND GRILL
-"I ain't giving you shit Stackhouse."
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| "That ain't mine!" |
END
There we have it, the first season of True Blood. Contrary to what you might think from reading my blog, I actually love the first season of True Blood. I think it had the right amount of horror, mystery, and camp. I even liked Bill when I first watched the season (obviously things have changed.) I hope you'll stick with me for next season, which was the first season that I started watching as it aired. It also contains my favorite episode, "I Will Rise Up". Meet you back here tomorrow!
SPOILERS
-Tara says that all the stuff with Maryann and Eggs is "satan in a Sunday hat." Yep.
-Vampires being awake during the day will be a lot less dramatic than this as the series goes on. I'm not sure Jessica has slept at all this season.
-In the books Sookie doesn't kill Renee, but injures him badly and he ends up in jail. We never find out what happens to him after that.
-The whole Lafayette thing at the end was pretty much the writers trolling the book audience again. In the second book, Lafayette is dead within the first few chapters. He's the one in Andy's car.
-Hoyt will meet a nice vampire girl that he brings home to his momma. She is not impressed to say the least.
-Bill is playing "Hard Hearted Hannah" on his piano. The song will come up again next season in the episode aptly named, "Hard Hearted Hannah".
Screencaps procured from Home of the Nutty.
Is there anything you'd like me to do different when I recap next season? Let me know in the comments!
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