directed by: Michael Lehmann
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| They've just read scripts for the later seasons. |
-We discover that vampires keep guest coffins. We can only hope Bill was in it.
OPENING CREDITS
STACKHOUSE HOUSE
-Maybe it's just my lack of liking to clean, but how many people actually clean when they need to be in control of something? Crying takes a lot less effort.
TARA'S HOUSE
-Lettie Mae is getting rid of all the devil juice (aka alcohol) and she made ho cakes!
JASON'S HOUSE
OPENING CREDITS
STACKHOUSE HOUSE
-Maybe it's just my lack of liking to clean, but how many people actually clean when they need to be in control of something? Crying takes a lot less effort.
TARA'S HOUSE
-Lettie Mae is getting rid of all the devil juice (aka alcohol) and she made ho cakes!
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| I'm pretty sure they're just pancake. |
-Jason continues to prove that he has the mind of a sixth grader by mixing up "organism" and "orgasm". It's not particularly funny.
-"Nobody who knows me has ever called me wise."
-Amy insists that Jason and her didn't have sex in the last episode, because her panties are still on. Only on this show would that mean anything.
STACKHOUSE HOUSE
-Tara walks in and Sookie's head is in the oven.
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| I'd stick my head in the oven too if I was dating Bill. |
-"Stop with the JC!"-What are Sookie's feelings on Jay-Z?
-"I just waxed." "I hope you mean the floor."-Rutina Wesley's delivery is perfect.
-I know Sookie just lost her gran, but she's being a real bitch right now. Obviously, Tara doesn't know anything about Bill possibly being dead and I would think Sookie would be happy for Tara's mom to not drink anymore even if she doesn't have anybody to make ho cakes for her.
JASON'S HOUSE
-Of course Amy only eats organic. I hate to disparage women, but since she's a fictional character I'm going to say it: Amy is a rich, stupid, stuck up white bitch.
-Amy may be going on about the tv on top of the tv, but I want to know about those pillows.
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| Were they his parent's also? |
-After showing off his two pronged possum penis, Terry asks Sam about his naked stroll through the woods.
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| Whatever happened to Felix the armadillo? |
-Sam, who is steadily becoming as terrible as Bill, uses Terry's PTSD against him. It's a dick move to say the least.
GRAVEYARD
-Sookie has sex with Bill after he comes up from the ground. It is gross and, not least of all, because of the high probability of a UTI.
THE UNDERSTAFFED MERLOTTE'S BAR AND GRILL
-Jason tells Amy that he wants to lick Amy's mind. I'm reminded of Community.
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| Get used to the Community references folks! |
-"I love you even if you are a bigot sometimes."-Arlene will prove that she is a bigot in just a few minutes!
-"I think we might have found a replacement for Dawn." "Looks like you did too."-ouch Sookie.
TARA'S HOUSE
-So I'm going to get a little personal here. I'm not a religious person and by that I mean I'm an atheist who cannot see the appeal of religion at all. Tara in this scene pretty much sums up what I think about people who use religion as an excuse for things. Lettie Mae insists that the demon is what caused her to be a shitty person instead of owning up to her problems. As Tara says later on, "Fuck that. All that shit you've built up your whole life doesn't go away because a hoodoo woman moves some rocks around on your belly."
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| She does take it a step too far when she insults those hats though. |
-Terry likes kids, donuts, Arlene's voice and her clavicles.
-Sookie is the girl just looking for an excuse to mention her boyfriend in every conversation.
-Sookie says that she doesn't want Amy to get hurt. Um maybe Amy should get the hell away from her then. Girl's the Angel of Death.
-Arlene proves that she is the hypocrite Sookie described her as, by playing nice with Sookie just so she can watch her kids.
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| At least she's not trying to pass for a natural ginger. |
MERLOTTE'S BAR AND GRILL-LATER
-Tara needs to apologize to Hoyt right now.
-Sam says that Tara and him are the only ones the "get it."Sam's not wrong in pointing out the similarities between the two character. They both come from fucked up families, they both have unrequited love for a Stackhouse, and they're both pretty good at cutting through the bullshit. I think that Sam and Tara could do worse than settling for each other.
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| Spoiler: They will do worse. |
STACKHOUSE HOUSE
-This whole "is the sex good for you" conversation is so sickly saccharine that I can't even write about it.
-Sookie can act as righteous as she wants, but Arlene does have the right to now who's watching her kids.
-Bill has never eaten pizza. This makes me eternally happy.
SAM'S TRAILER
-Tara is just looking to pick a fight with Sam and his plea, "don't make me do this" is pretty great.
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| She will. |
STACKHOUSE HOUSE
-"You might say that I'm lactose intolerant."
"Just like my Aunt Fern. Except she don't tolerate Mexicans."- I think we've all got an Aunt Fern.
-Bill makes me hate him less by being really good with kids.
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| It does help that he looks ridiculous. |
COUNTRY ROAD
-Renee proposes to Arlene by hiding the ring in a mag light. It's not my ideal way to be proposed to. My ideal way includes a time machine and a tuba.
SOOKIE'S DREAM
-Even in Sookie's dream, Bill is the most boring vampire ever.
-Sookie wakes up to Tina watching her again. Since I've been watching Bob's Burgers, I've decided to incorporate Tina into all shots with Tina.
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| You're welcome. |
CORONER'S
-We learn that the fourth person in the vampire's nest was the coroner's assistant aka that wheelchair kid from Glee. Go fourth wheelchair kid!
SAM'S TRAILER
-Sam is too sly for Andy and insists that he runs around naked, because his parents were naturists. Andy confuses this for naturalists. The same joke as earlier in the episode.
MERLOTTE'S BAR AND GRILL
-Tara tells Lafayette that her mom has stopped drinking and he gives us a happy dance.
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| And some raised eyebrow. A true thespian. |
-Sam invades Sookie's privacy, once again.
JASON'S CAR
-All of Amy's pretension flies right out the window when she's jonesing for V. Now we're getting to her real character.
BILL'S HOUSE
-Eric is waiting for Bill in his ridiculous tub. He's not as thrilled as I would be about it.
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| Someone has been reading my dream journal! |
-"I hate using the number keys to type."- Bill would.
-Unsurprisingly, Eric wants Sookie. Lucky her.
JASON'S CAR
-No matter what Amy says, it is definitely stalking.
VAMPIRE EDDIE'S
-Musical Moment of the Night: "Eternal Flame" by The Bangels. It's what Vampire Eddie has on the stereo.
-Vampire Eddie mishears Lafayette thinking he said he "goes for Merlot." This would be an obvious mistake if that wasn't exactly how I state my wine preferences.
-Let me just take a moment to say that Stephen Root is one of my favorite guest stars on True Blood plus he has previous vampire experience being the principal in the Buffy the Vampire Slayer film.
-Lafayette is such a flirt with Vampire Eddie. If my nurse used the same vein finding method as Lafayette I might not hate shots so much.
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| To be fair they've probably taken an oath against it. |
-Vampire Eddie says that he looks forward to watching Heroes. In 2008 he would have been the only one.
FANGTASIA PARKING LOT
-Sookie says that Eric cannot check her out like a book. I know a lot of women who would be fine with that arrangement.
MISS JEANETTE'S BUS OF HORRORS
-Tara decides that maybe Miss Jeanette has a point about her having a demon.
SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT
-Andy checks up on Sam's nudist story. We in turn get to see some nudists.
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| And their conveniently places drawers! |
FANGTASIA
-"Perhaps you can start by listening to him."
"He's not saying anything."
"Don't be coy."-The only time Sookie tries to hide being a telepath.
-Longshadow argues that of course the skinny human would save the fat one. What?! Is that some sort of weird stereotype vampires have about human?
VAMPIRE EDDIE'S
-It's really easy to pity Vampire Eddie, especially when Amy is a crazy bitch.
FANGTASIA
-Ginger!
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| True Blood's most consistent character. |
-Longshadow stole the money.
END
Unfortunately, there's no Pam Line of the Night. Her only lines were "here's the last human" and "it was a vampire." Let's not insult Kristin Bauer van Straten by choosing either of them.
SPOILERS
-This isn't a spoiler so much as a fun fact, but in this episode and especially the next we see that vampires leave a gory mess when they die on True Blood. In Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the vampires turned to dust when they died, because they wanted a simple clean up that wouldn't be gruesome since it was on The WB.
-Unfortunately, this will not be the last time Bill has super gross sex. We have the infamous head twisting scene in season 3 and then in last night's episode Bill and Sookie basically recreated their first time, but he's got Hep V lines all over him.
-Renee makes the awkward joke that Bill and Sookie will get hitched once the VRA passes. He's sort of right. Bill proposes to Sookie after it passes. Thankfully we never have to watch a wedding...for now.
-He's already worn it before, but Jason's panther hat was basically the writers trolling the book readers. In the books Jason becomes a Were Panther. It's not the worst plot line by far!
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| Gotcha! |
-Bill tells Sookie that he wouldn't burst into flames if he was outside in the sun. In one of the best scenes in the entire series we learn that he is in fact wrong about so many things.
-It's never explained in the series, but in this episode we see Pam in noticeably different (and cute) clothing. In the books it is explained that Eric makes all the vamps in Fangtasia dress up as a gimmick for the customers. Pam prefers twin sets when she's not working.
Go to Home of the Nutty to marvel at their screencaps.
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