True Blood 1.02- "First Taste"

Written by: Alan Ball
Directed by: Scott Winant

Nothing to see here.

MERLOTTE'S BAR AND GRILL PARKING LOT
-We begin where we left off (which will be the case for almost every episode of True Blood). Sookie is getting beaten to death by the cool-headed Rattray's.

-Before we go any further I have to let you all know that part of this episode's description on my dvd was "Bill joins Sookie for a nocturnal sojourn". Some English lit. major wrote that shit.

-Bill swoops in to save the day...er night by proving that you can fight violence with violence.

Conflict resolution!

-The collie is also there being extremely non-helpful. Obvs. there's something up with that dog.

OPENING CREDITS

POLICE DEPARTMENT/SHERIFF'S OFFICE
-Bud and Andy are making Jason watch the sex tape Maudette made. Is this more or less awkward than your parents walking in on you watching porn? Comments appreciated!

-And thus begins my love/hate relationship of True Blood's use of flashbacks. We don't need a flashback to the previous episode. We were there last week!

-Ryan Kwanten is perfectly able to capture Jason's thought process with his facial expressions.

"And now I'm confused."

-"I'm not that smart!"-no, but you are that pretty.

NEAR A LAKE
-Musical moment: Nathan Barr's leitmotif for Sookie and Bill. It will be played ad nauseam.

-Sookie must drink Bill's blood to stay alive. Is anybody else reminded of Voldemort having to drink unicorn's blood to stay alive? *see spoilers at the bottom for more on this!


THORNTON RESIDENCE
-We see Tara's mom who was mentioned as an alcoholic in the previous episode. No further characterisation is needed at the moment.

-Lafayette's ringtone: "pick up the phone biatch."

-Good lord. Two spoonfuls of sugar on her Lucky Charms?!

Clearly this family has a problem with addiction.

-"Your standards are so low you always get lucky."

DAWN'S HOUSE
-Jason goes over to Dawn's after the investigation for comfort sex. He is not subtle about it.

NEAR A LAKE
-Sookie wakes up to Bill licking her wounds. He didn't even buy her dinner first.

-Bill informs Sookie that she's different and she eats that stuff up like a teenage girl who's told that she's pretty by a boy for the first time. I don't think this is an unfair analogy of their relationship so far.

-True Blood makes me take back the bad things I've said about their flashbacks by providing flashbacks of Sookie on various dates. One man thinks that liking Sookie will make it so that he no longer thinks about Jake Gyllenhaal in Jarhead. Good luck with that.

-However, I did find Sookie squeezing mustard onto the guy an overreaction. I mean it's not like he said that stuff out loud, so he's got some kind of filter at least.

This caption will not be funnier than this freeze frame.

PARTY
-One of the party guests says "alright, alright, alright" and the only thing I can think of is Outkast's "Hey Ya!"

-"You can ask any one of these...honeys."-what a delicious pause.

-Tara takes the cake for coming up with an excuse for guys to stop hitting on you: her husband is an assassin.

-Said husband "shot one guy in the nuts for buying me a CD". To be fair this has nothing to do with jealousy and everything to do with the fact that CDs are a dead medium.

DAWN'S HOUSE
-Let's check in on Jason and Dawn.

Nothing to see here.

MERLOTTE'S BAR AND GRILL PARKING LOT
-Sookie finally gets around to asking Bill if he'll speak to The Descendants of the Glorious Dead group.  Bill manages to make the whole night more depressing by talking about how not glorious the Civil War was. Hello Major Buzzkill.

DAWN'S HOUSE
-Jason and Dawn finally have some meaningful conversation about what effects Maudette's death has had on him. Just kidding! Jason finds Dawn bite marks like some kind of fangbanger bloodhound.

STACKHOUSE HOUSE
-On the telly Vampire Nan Flannigan is back and this time she's talking to Steve Newland Sr. The second best Steve Newland.

-Gran and Sookie contemplate WWJD about vampires. I'm thinking he probably should have convinced one of them to turn him so we would no longer have to ask What Would Jesus Do?

-Sookie makes thing weird by talking too much about the sausage in her mouth. It's not a penis, but give it time.

-Tara comes over and we learn that vampires can hypnotize people. It's weird having to learn things that are already so engrained into the True Blood mythos now.

-Jason's shirt says something "Thunderpussy".

Find out what that "something" says: Internet Assemble!

-Gran takes the role of exposition fairy as she explains that a tornado hit the Rattray's trailer park. What a coincidence!

TRAILER PARK
-What is Sookie wearing?

At least she's wearing something...For now!

-Another new character alert! Mike Spencer: Coroner and Funeral Home Owner. As Sookie says "well that's got to be convenient."

-Bud becomes Giles the Explainer by teaching Sookie a few things. First, Bill Compton lives right next to the Stackhouse's, isn't that convenient! Second, tornados hop!

Dear readers: Know that if I could give you the "hop" hand motion in .gif form I would.

-"I don't want to see you go down this path."
"Lucky for you no one's forcing you to watch."-Sookie wins best burn of the day.

STACKHOUSE HOUSE
-Least believable plot point in the episode. Sookie can smell a Cheez-it that has gone bad. Silly Sookie. Those things don't go bad.

-Gran continues to act like all grandmothers by asking if Sookie would like to be alone with Bill even though Jason and Tara have invited themselves along.

-Also Gran sounds like she just ran a marathon before starting this sentence.

STACKHOUSE HOUSE...LATER
-Tara does the whole, "that's my beer" ploy, that men like Jason Stackhouse are known to fall for. It does not work.

-Bill sneaks up on Sookie. Responds with the obvious, "I've upset you."

Not as much as that jacket upsets me.

-Bill proves to be an awful house guest by refusing Gran's sweet tea and then boring everybody with history. What a disappointment to southern gentlemen and vampires everywhere.

-Tara asks the question on everybody's mind: "Did you own slaves?". Of course not Tara. He's got to be likeable somehow!

-Bill makes the lame joke that he is actually "the oldest person here" and Jason's reaction is all of us.

It says "Alabama Thunderpussy" everyone! Good job, we can all go home now.

-"Thanks for making me look like a fool in front of him Gran."
"Jason, you don't need any help looking like a fool."-Sass runs in the Stackhouse family.

BILL AND SOOKIE'S NIGHTTIME STROLL
-Bill and Sookie take a nighttime stroll and talk about the effects of V. Bill even makes illegal drug side effects seem dull.

STACKHOUSE HOUSE
-Tara continues her futile attempt to flirt with Jason. It hard to say which couple has more passion at this point.

-"I'm a fucking idiot sometimes."
"Well, can I tell you a secret? I am too."
"It's not that much of a secret."

-Ok that little back and forth was cute.

BILL AND SOOKIE'S NIGHTTIME STROLL
-Bill tries to glamour Sookie. His face looks like this.

Acting!

-Sookie states what should be a warning for her: "You don't like not being able to control people, do you?"

-Sookie flashbacks to her youth when her telepathy upset her family. Does the mom look like a blonde Felicia Day to anybody else?

Anybody?

-Mark these flashbacks in my "dislike" pile.

-Bill channels Angel by becoming angsty. It seems to work because he gets Sookie to offer up help in getting his house in order. Sucker.

-Bill asks tells Sookie to take her hair clip out. She does.

-Bill then proceeds to tell Sookie that he "can smell the sunlight on [her] skin". I'll be honest. It kind of does it for me.

-Bill's fangs come out when he's aroused. Wonder what that could be a metaphor for?

"Shut up!"

DAWN'S HOUSE
-Dawn leaves Jason tied up and we're all wondering if there is a relationship worth rooting for in this show.

MERLOTTE'S BAR AND GRILL
-We get a quick peek at Jane Bodehouse and Terry Bellefleur! More on you two later!

-Tara makes a good case against Sam that only the women are sexualized at Merlotte's. Kind of a side note but I like that True Blood is pretty good about equal opportunity gender sexualization. Good for you guys!

-"Remind me why I hired you again?"
"Affirmative action."

-Sam takes Sookie into his office...and just talks with her. Seriously Sookie. He's already got more personality than Bill.

-Lafayette, the best character, gives the best advice for everybody: "Don't let nothing get you down. It's the only way to live."

Finally someone's fashion choices that I'm not questioning.

-Tara fails to be subtle at asking Dawn about her relationship with Jason. Dawn knows whats up.

-The conveniently timed news announcement pronounces Steve Newland Sr. dead. We barely knew ya.

BILL'S HOUSE
-Finally something interesting happens between Bill and Sookie!

Real vampires!

END

SPOILERS
-So what do you guys think? Does Sookie live a cursed life after drinking Bill's blood?

-This will be explored a little further in the next episode, but the interactions with Tara and her mom are painful. Rutina Wesley is good at portraying the love/hate relationship that is dealing with an alcoholic. You know what they're doing might kill them, but you have no idea how to make them stop either.

-Bill replies that Sookie's blood does taste different. We'll find out that it's because she's part fucking fairy.

-The camera man was none to subtle about this foreshadowing.

Nothing to see here.

-All screencaps procured from Home of the Nutty because my dvd player does not work on my laptop.

Did I miss anything? Let me know in the comments!

True Blood 1.01- "Strange Love"

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A Quick Word About True Blood

You may be asking yourself (or myself if you thought about leaving a comment) why am I beginning my, what is sure to be lustrous, recapping career with True Blood? The explanation is multi-fold (a new word I just invented). Firstly, I've seen every episode. That's going to make things real easy. Secondly, this was the show that got me into reading recaps, because I can not get enough of other people's opinions of this show. My favorites are Blood Work! (which I fear is debunked, but you can still find Brian at The Backlot) and io9's recap by Meredith Woerner. Thirdly, I just love it. No matter how bad True Blood treats me I'm still there every Sunday in the summer with my mother watching this Southern Vampire Mystery (see what I did there!)

A quick note: I have read all of the books True Blood is based on (re: joke above). Any references I make to the books will be in the spoiler section at the end, but honestly some of these books are more than ten years old and they are so easy to read you have no real excuse.

On to the madness! 

What's On Tonight?

So what is this?

This is a website that recaps television shows. Hopefully, in a humorous way.

But why?

Well in my infinite wisdom I decided to spend five years of my life and tens of thousands of dollars on two film and television studies degrees. I don't want to hide that talent in a bushel.

So it's going to be academic?

Not particularly. I may get a little insightful, but really I just want to force my opinion of tv shows down your throat...with your consent of course.

What are you recapping?

I'll be recapping the television shows that I want to watch. During the fall/spring season this will include shows such as The Mindy Project, Community, Hannibal, etc. which are currently on the air. I will also be recapping shows that I am rewatching, which is the case for the first show: True Blood. The final category is shows that I'll be watching for the first time, but are not currently on the air like Orphan Black.

Are you beginning from the beginning?

Hard to say. For the shows I'm rewatching, I will begin from the beginning (re: True Blood). For shows such as Parks and Recreation or Doctor Who, I will recap as they air and hopefully go back and recap from the beginning.

Do I need to watch the episodes before I read your recap?

Yes. I'm bullet pointing my stream of conscienceness while the episode is going on. I won't really be setting up the scene besides including pictures and/or .gifs.

Spoilers?

Spoilers. However, I will leave spoilers for the end. Of course, spoilers only apply for rewatched shows. I won't and don't read/post spoilers for shows currently on the air. Please don't post spoilers in the comments!

Anything else?

Enjoy?